Film Review: Ted

Not content with creating the top three animated comedies in the world with a fourth on the way (An upcoming Flintstones reboot), Family Guy head-honcho Seth McFarlane delivers what will undoubtedly be the number one comedy of the year – Ted.

In his directorial debut (Narrated by Patrick Stewart), McFarlane’s latest creation is the result of a young Johnny Bennett’s wish that his teddy bear be brought to life so they can be (Thunder) buddies for life. A comparison to an Apache Helicopter later and sure enough, Ted comes to life, shortly followed by a montage of growing up in the 80’s to the present day in which ‘John’ (Mark Wahlberg) is all grown up and Ted (voiced by McFarlane), well, he ain’t so cute anymore.

Spending their days sitting on the couch drinking, smoking weed and watching re-runs of TV shows past, they may be grown-up but they sure haven’t matured much to John’s girlfriend of four years – Lori’s (the beautiful Mila Kunis) annoyance. Soon enough she issues John an ultimatum, it’s her or the bear. It’s here that the plot wanes as it’s been used to death and if it wasn’t for McFarlane’s slick, never-ending bombardment of lewd, racial and hysterical pop culture jokes it would be a tad unoriginal.

Strangely, the film’s eponymous bear is arguably not the star of the show. Mark Wahlberg’s ever-increasing diversity as an actor is astounding, delivering a comically touching performance as a man torn between his best friend and the love of his life. Listing trailer-trash names and the ‘Thunder Song’ are the outstanding highlights as well as his intimate moments with Lori, especially cleaning up a prostitute’s ‘parting gift’.

Similar to rare moments in Family Guy, some of the humour might whizz over the younger viewers head. If you don’t know or like Flash Gordon, then there is a chunk of the movie you will not like or understand with some jokes not hitting the desired mark. There are plenty of fart jokes and sexual gaffes for you to chew on and one thing’s for sure, you’ll never look at a parsnip the same way again.

The ending is a result of Ted’s potty mouth, something that the idiosyncratic Donny (the criminally underused Giovanni Ribsi) doesn’t take a liking to, culminating in a car chase to Fenway Park before emotions run high.

With cameo’s aplenty, brilliant CGI and jokes from the world’s most ruthless comical genius, Ted is undeniably the funniest and most offensive film of the year. The easy option would’ve been to make a Family Guy/American Dad/Cleveland show crossover film, but it’s relieving to see that McFarlane can keep the jokes fresh with a ballsy live action movie.

Fuck You Thunder!

3 .5 Stars.

Watch the trailer here.

2 Responses to “Film Review: Ted”
  1. feddastr says:

    Great review, cool movie. Good to see another positive of ted.

    Check out my review at-


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